Cold Nights, Cold Days
by Blazing Blizzardstorm
Summary: After the tough battle of Brackenfire's kitting, she and one kit remain dead. Her mate Ashfall is left heartbroken, but four kits remain with him. He blames their deaths on his forbidden relationship with Brackenfire. Greenleaf days have now become cold. Will he ever recover from his loses or will he fall into a pit of darkness? First IvyClan challenge. One-shot based future works


**Hey guys! This is my first IvyClan challenge. The challenge is to write about a cat who has lost a mate in battle. I interpreted it in my own way, so the mate dies in a battle, but not the expected one. This also will be a little opener for a story that I'm working on so it's sorta a spoiler, but not really since it's the beginning. Enjoy!**

_**Cold Nights, Cold Days**_

I stared down at the limp slender, pale golden brown tabby body that sat in a pool of blood. She had labored hard through her battle for life- but some kittings just never go the right way. A small tortoiseshell and white she cat sat next to me. She remained in utter silence. She felt like she had failed my beautiful mate, Brackenfire. I sighed and remembered this was the small tortoiseshell's first kitting alone. _Oh, poor Brackenfire and Dawnpaw. Dawnpaw will never be the same medicine cat again. Brackenfire will never be the same. I will never be the same. Is StarClan punishing me just because I couldn't find a mate inside my own Clan?_

I look down at the small shapes of the bodies of my kits in the bloody pool by their's cold, dead mother's soft belly fur. Five little shapes. Three toms and two she cats. It was such a big litter for such a young cat. Too much to handle for the young Brackenfire. The five kits lay side to side in the bloody pool. First, there was a silver and black tabby with a white chest and paws like myself. Next, there was a small, slender white she cat with pale golden brown tabby and silver tabby splashes, a mix of Brackenfire and myself. The kit next to the she kit was a pale golden brown tabby tom with unusually big white paws, the spitting image of Brackenfire. The next kit was a silver tabby she kit with white paws and a very fluffy tail. He stared down at the last kit heartbroken. This kit was the runt of the litter... and the small white tom had seemed not to make it.

" Why Brackenfire and a little kit... Why StarClan... Why?" I murmured.

" Ashfall, the runt of the litter doesn't survive sometimes. And maybe even the mother... But you need to name these kits or they will all starve to death and join Brackenfire." Dawnpaw finally let out a small, but curt mew.

I sighed. She was right, but at least it was greenleaf. Yet, it felt like leaf-bare to me. The warm breeze that brushed my pelt like the coldest ice. I mewed, " The silver tabby tom will be Beechkit after Brackenfire's brother, Beechnose. You can name the next to kits, Dawnpaw."

She nodded. She knew why he had named the kit after Beechnose. Beechnose had kept Brackenfire's and my affair a secret, even if he never supported their relationship. She replied, "The first she kit shall be Blossomkit. The tom shall be Brackenkit, after his mother."

I felt my heart ache. _Brackenkit, oh, Brackenkit, you remind me too much of your mother, _I thought to myself. I sighed and knew I had to name two last kits because dawn's light would shower the land soon. " The last she kit will be Brightkit." I gulped. I felt like I had a piece of crowfood stuck in my throat. " This kit will be Lightkit, even if he didn't live to see the light of day, he will see the light with his mother in StarClan."

* * *

"No! You can't take away my kits! It's all that I have left of Brackenfire!" I yowled with grief underneath the High Branch.

"Sorry Ashfall, but you broke the warrior code and this is your punishment. ThunderClan has the right to take two of your kits like what was agreed on." The tortoiseshell leader of RiverClan, Sorrelstar, mewed to me.

It had been three moons since his kits had been born. ThunderClan wanted all of the kits and insisted that they all belonged to their mother's birth Clan. Sorrelstar and Mintstar had debated for three moons and finally had reached an agreement that stated that each Clan would have one she kit and tom.

My four kits played outside the nursery. The two small toms playfighting each other in the dust. My daughters were playing moss-ball with their foster sister, Snowkit. I smiled everything was so peaceful and perfect. _Why yes, perfect. _I thought as I looked at two of my kits for the last time.

A pale brown tabby tom walked up to me. Beechnose. He sighed, " I tried to fight for you to keep Brackenkit, and us to take Beechkit, but Mintstar said you could have Blossomkit instead of Brightkit."

I stared down at my white paws in sadness. _Brackenkit, my only reminder of her, my beautiful, sweet, and loving mate._

"It's alright. We all miss her, Ashfall. She was my sister, you know. I feel a lot of pain like you, but you have to keep holding on for your kits." Beechnose mewed comfortingly.

"Thank you for everything, Beechnose. You really are a true friend. Even if we may not belong to the same Clan, I feel like you'd be my best friend if we were." I licked his shoulder.

"Ashfall! Say your last goodbyes to Brackenkit and Brightkit!" Sorrelstar yowled from her perch.

* * *

"Ashfall, you have to do something besides sit around camp all day," growled the silver and black deputy and my father, Stonesplash. "Why couldn't you be like your sister, Bluestream? She didn't break the code! She goes to all of the patrols that she's assigned to! All you do is mope around camp! Yoy don't even visit Blossomkit and Beechkit! You truly are not my son!" He spat.

"You truly don't know what I have been through. Losing three kits and a mate. Bluestream, Troutfin, and Raincloud are still alive. Just because I'm not as perfect as Bluestream doesn't mean I don't try to be. You are truly are terrible father!" I reply coldly.

"I'm your father. I helped make you and I will help end you." He hissed and arched his back ready to strike.

"Ashfall! In my den NOW!" Sorrelstar yowled.

I sighed. She had been so hard me since I returned. The reason why is probably because Dawnpaw, her daughter, knew about the affair, and had not told her mother.

I walked into the reed woven den. Sorrelstar sat in the middle in a bed of moss and feathers. I sat down beaming into to her dark ivy green eyes.

She sighed and mewed, " Ashfall, I need to participate in this Clan. Blossomkit and Beechkit need you as their father... They're already motherless as it is. Start fresh tomorrow by going on the dawn patrol with your mother. I don't care that you broke the code because I should not judge a cat by their past, yet I demand you find a new mate and have kits with her in this Clan to show other cats you are loyal. Alright, you are dismissed, but try to avoid Stonesplash, please. Also, I would like you to go on a hunt with Dawnpaw while she collects herbs tonight."

* * *

The greenleaf winds are warm, but they are as freezing as ever to me. I trot along with Dawnpaw to the stream that borders ShadowClan. We remain silent throughout the whole walk. Until I stutter out, "Dawnpaw, I can't take anymore. Is there any herbs that can end this life?"

"Do you really want to leave your kits, family, and Clan?" She mewed inquisitively. "You can't come back once you join the ranks of Silverpelt above."

"Yes, this is what I desire. My family won't even talk to me, except my mother who loves everyone no matter what. The Clan scoffs at me and sees me as a disgrace. I find greenleaf days to be cold leaf-bare nights now. Gentle greenleaf breezes had become strong, bone-chilling gales. The morning dew has turned to frost in my eyes. My kits have strong hearts, and will be able to brave through this Clan of scorn and mocking. I ask you to watch over them."

She looks down at a couple of flowers by the stream. She finds a small pale purplish flower and shakes it out. "Come over here and eat these seeds. They are like poppy seeds except you'll never wake up. Are you truly sure that you want this?"

"Yes, I am," I mew firmly.

She flicks her tail towards the tiny black seeds on the ground. I lick a bunch of the seeds, and I feel drowsiniess take affect. My lights start to fade into to darkness. The world starts to spin and everything becomes pitch black.

* * *

I look down from StarClan to see my Clan sitting vigil for me. My kits seem quite sad, which makes me feel bad, but they have Fernpool to look after them. My mother seems to have taken much grief, but I'm surprised how much Stonesplash is. Stonesplash is grieving quite hard, maybe because his first kit had died. Bluestream and Troutfin seem quite upset, but I'll meet all of my family when they join StarClan.

I feel someone pounce on my tail. _Lightkit,_ I thought. I turn around to see him playing with my tail.

"Hello, Lightkit," I purr.

He growls and continues to pouce. I let out a purr of amusement.

He continues playing with my tail. I turn back around to see my starry pelted mate, Brackenfire. I stare into to her beautiful green eyes what it feels like an eternity. She sits down next to me and purrs. We intertwine our tails, and she rests her head on my shoulder. Lightkit bounces up inbetween on our legs. _This is perfect, the way everything should be._

**Please Read and Review! I will have an upcoming series about Beechkit, Blossomkit, Brackenkit, and Brightkit!**


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